Mom Fails

Being a mom is sure keeping me on my toes. It’s a life I wasn’t sure I wanted a few years ago, but now I’m loving every single minute of it… even the crazy ones. I thought I’d share these as they come up- maybe you’ll get a good laugh out of them like I have- and maybe it’ll provide some comfort that you aren’t alone when you have crazy moments like these.

So far this sums it up…. I went shopping last night and bought more sweatpants. Mom life?


Scary Mommy: An honest look at motherhood | The Best Motherhood E-Cards |


And here’s what I’ve learned….

1. Not all bottles are created equal.
One night, I made baby girl a bottle. She was drinking like a champ, but milk was going everywhere! I couldn’t figure out why it was all such a mess…. Turns out I had just opened a package of bottles for 4-6 month olds. I knew bottles were different sizes, but I had no idea there were different nipples for different ages. Poor kid! No wonder she couldn’t keep up.

2. Mom ears are sensitive.
3 am one night, I hear baby girl crying- my husband has her out in the living room. So, I drag myself out of bed, grab my boppy and head to feed her. I walk into the living room, and my husband gives me a really confused look. Baby girl was dead asleep. Dear old hubbs had been playing videos of her from the hospital- which apparently included her crying. I heard and thought she needed to be fed. Hubbs is lucky I have a good sense of humor. He may have lost his life that night otherwise.

3. When you feel like you need to pump, pump.
Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. And definitely do not make a bathroom stop, with your shirt off, prior to a pumping you’ve been putting off far too long. Milk will start streaming out of you while you are sitting on the toilet. Hubbs will have to run to get your pumping supplies so you can try to save some of this precious liquid gold. But, hey, you will laugh hard.

4. And don’t forget all the parts.
Prior to turning on your breast pump, make sure there aren’t any parts missing… you know, like the bottles that collect the milk. Otherwise, you will look down to find two huge, wet spots of breast milk on your pants. And realize that you have no bottles nearby, and that milk is just pumping all down the front of you.

These moments are hilarious. They keep me going- wondering what the heck is going to happen next. Keep the good times coming!


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