Struggling

Today is a rough day. I just have this overwhelming feeling that I’m insignificant. That the people that matter most to me don’t really care about what’s going on in my life, what I want, what I’m excited about.

I feel like every time something big is happening in my life, something bigger and more important is going on in someone else’s. I just want people to be excited with and for me. For someone to be really interested in what’s going on in my life. To feel important and special.

I feel like I have to go through life alone- just keeping everything to myself- so that I don’t upset anyone or take away from what’s going on with them.

I just feel like I don’t matter. And that someone else is always priority over me.

And then when there is something I’m excited about- I feel like I have to downplay it. I tell myself it’s not important. If it’s not important to anyone else, then it’s not really important to me, and I shouldn’t be excited about it.

I know it’s not true- but it’s just how I feel today. How I feel a lot of days. But most days I’m able to keep busy and ignore it. Just not today.

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